New years resa-what?! I have hopes and asperations everyday, the fact that we have moved on to 2012 isn’t going to inspire me anymore then any other day. 

I had the best new years eve of my life, literally. Filled with my best friends, inebriation, and love. Back to school - back to reality - after an amazing sleep/kisses/alcohol/marijuana educed Christmas break. I’m ready to get back focused again, only about 6 months and ill have my career, so I can start my future. Moving back to Atlanta, starting to save for my future. What am I saying, whats happening to me? Oh maturity, you’re kicking my ass right now.

To put it quite frank - I’m head over heels, warm and fuzzes, hearts around the head, smitten in love, with my life. And my girlfriend (I guess). The best part about our relationship is our friendship. This chick is my BESTest friend AND my girlfriend. We can laugh about stupid shit and then instantly be making out like 9th graders. She still makes me nervous, and I don’t get sick of her. I should take her off the market already. Anyone wanna go to NY?  

Really into puns today, here are a few clever ones that gave me a giggle:

-When the cannibal showed up late to the luncheon, they gave him the cold shoulder. 

-There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.

-What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway)

Things I learned this Christmas break:

-Taxi drivers are always in rare form, and can have disgusting fetishes and are not afraid to inform you of them. 

-If you go out for a bit with a friend who is buying you drinks (a lot of drinks) you might will get accidently drunk before your girlfriend gets off work. 

-Christmas time with family is tolerable with intoxication.

Anxious, nervous, enthusiastic, so many emotions boiling through my veins currently I can taste them. My future is right in front of me and I have never been more ready in my entire life. I’m going to be a legendary stylist, I can feel it in my bones. I went to hell and back to realize that cosmetology is what I’m passionite about, and now its my time to shine.

My mind is perplexed as always, not only with an anxious mind but heart as well. Its funny how you can do everything in your power to not think about someone every second of the day. When you want to think about them just to season your mind with ecstasy, its then you know you should keep them around.

Cheers, to not following but chasing my dreams, beautiful fall nights ahead, and kissing you hello every chance I can get. 

“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” Albert Einstein

My 21st birthday painted an exquisite picture in front of me. I can now legally buy alcohol, which is convinvent and all, but thats not the stain in my brain that I’m speaking of. I’m realizing now, that I have such little time to live all I desire to. Therefore, I have to make sacrifices to ensure my future will be what I thirst for. Its almost soul shaking how much I’ve changed.

I have so much potential in my future, and that alone gets me through my newly early wake up calls. I now am an “assistant” at Anazao salon. Down the road, ill be beginning the internship program. I’m astonished at the fact that I even managed to grab the position as an assistant, let alone a spot in the internship program in my future. I come home everyday and my hands smell like shampoo. Its a scent I could get extremely used to. I wake up everyday happy to go to work, rather then wanting to hang myself thinking about standing around the close minded and cheap bastards restaurant, Applebee’s.

On top of being overly tolerant of my work environment, every single one of the girls are incredible. I can shoot the shit with them, and at the same time be on my way to my trade. Financial stability is in my future, and while that is extremely important, I’m moving home. That normally sounds like a root canal, but these days I’ve grown up a lot. Realizing that my parents are going to be gone one day, and I dare not regret spending a lot of time away from them. Leaving Atlanta is going to be tough, but the forty-ish minute drives back and forth from Atlanta to Snellville is exhausting. Plus, the salon is less then half a mile from my house.

As for romance, I throw my hands up in the air. What happens, happens. I need to be concerned on me, and my future. I refuse to allow any outside anything influence me making my dreams come true.

Goals:

-Save money. (ACTUALLY do it)
-Concentrate on getting to know the Salon up, down, sideways, upside-down.
-Get closer to Bro. (Get to know him, haven’t been close in ten+years)
-Twerk out, get that bod in shape, bokay?

I continue to impress myself with the ability to have a ridiculously scattered mind, and still function like a normal human being. There is not a second in the day that goes by where my mind isn’t completely overwhelmed with meandering thoughts. Lately, I have come across a way to control my own mind in different ways. I’ll do tests, to make certain objects and/or things remind me of something else. Yeah, you can call me crazy. Or, you can call me Carla, and admire my capability to cover so much ground in just thoughts. I write in my journal, quite often, carry it with me everywhere, but still think I don’t write enough. Until I write, and realse my thoughts, I feel like I am going to explode. This is why I enjoy a stimulating conversation. I don’t have an insane amount, but when I do its fantastic.

The parentals are vacationing in Flo-rida next week with male sibling of mine. Meaning, me and the beast will be left with all 6,000 sq ft of the residence. Including the pool/mexican resort backyard. All that didn’t matter in march when they left. Now, its mof’n summer. Wow, perfection anyone? Following MY vacation I’m moving into Jessy’s finally. I may have to post-pone it a tad due to my car situation, but as soon as thats rectified ill be sailing away to the East Atlanta Village yall.

FINALLY getting out of Snellville, good god. Moving in with Jessy is going to be phoenominal, and on top of that all my friends live in atlanta. The cherry? Josie, the cherry, the kicker, creme de la creme, the beautiful girl who lives in eav who I’m dating, whatever you wanna call her. My life is already pretty great, including my shitty serving job at Applebees where I don’t mind being 96.5% of the time. Was 97%, and then I waited on a little league football team who trashed my section.

Everything never fails to fall into place. I’ll be in East Atlanta in about a month, and I am drenched in happiness. Moving in with Jessy and D, as well as Adam. Applebee’s is beginning to blossom into something financially promising. I made over a hundred bucks in just two nights last weekend, proud of myself. I will continue to work myself extremely hard especially over the next month, to prepare for my future. Its incredibly hard not to spend the money I make, but I must continue to be mature and save. I have some incredible people in my life currently, they are what drive me to be so strong and tenacious. Hopefully I’ll be employed at The Glenwood shortly after the move, that way I don’t have to drive 40 min to work, and so I don’t have to deal with anything Snellville related any longer. Till then, I bite the bullet, and refill the strawberry lemonades to minor douche bags and sweets teas to soccer moms.

Summer goals:

• Half sleeve worked on
• Get fucking tan you vampire
• Swim as much as possible
• Research more about hair school
• Kill Justin Bieber Whoopsy
• Drink as much as possible in preparation for the glorious birth o moi
• Go to Chicago
• Roadtrip with Jessy to Cali for my birth-o week

Seems steep, but I can climb any mountain put in front of me. Even crack-rock mountains, Lil Wayne.

I also, must do more self discovery, I cannot fully give myself again till I find myself fully. Life is way to short to waste a second. Went to a glorious slip and slide party Sunday, It was pretty incredible. Covered in artistic, stimulating people. I ended up letting my hurr down so to speak, borrowing a bikini from a broad, and unleashed my feminine body to dive onto a huge soap and water covered tarp. It was intoxicating. I also got a few laughs at the multiple gentlemen that hit on me. God damn tits. Anyways, I had a great time, the bruises on my hips are well worth it. Cinco de mayo, working a double, hope I make decent money and get people wasted. Cheers to that!

The flowers are beginning to bloom, the pollen is beginning to infest my newly opened pool, and the air is no longer a danger to my sensitive skin. Its going to be a phenomenal year. I feel as though this is my first spring, its uncanny. I know that I’ve had almost 21 of them, but my view is completely flipped upside-down now.

Well, the final step of my recovery has landed in my lap. Or on my neck, that is. The operation went well, except for the fact that I was fully awake and basically deafeningly sober during the entirety of it. As much as being awake during surgery turns my engine on, I was horrified. The only thing that made me smile was the foxy doctor that stitched me up in the conclusion of the fiesta. Also during the operation it was very bizarre to have my neck open, a huge scope up my nose and down my throat, and three surgeons tuning me like an accordion.

* Interjection for Jessy to show up and start typing on my blog * Hello everyone, I’m Jessy. Its nice to meet you. Today Carla and I are going to spend some “summer” moments at a parking lot fair in hopes that her neck and or throat will not pull apart and bleed all over the Ferris wheel. Carla seems to be doing very well. her wounds and scars seem to be healing well, and she looks amazing. Aw, I love her. Haha dad is cooking us barbecue chicken. Yummy! Anyways, I will let you guys get on with reading Carla’s much better words than mine. Enjoy the weather and be good to one another. Love, Jessy.

Ha, We had a great time at the trashy fair-like 6 ride event in the pawn shop parking lot. Luckily, my neck and throat stayed intact. One of my favorite holidays is coming up, Easter, duh. Four twenty of course. I’ll be counting the days till the glorious stoner holiday comes. I’m getting ever so closer to having my own wheels. The closer I get, the further is seems to be out of my reach however. I live paycheck to paycheck, hoping that somehow magically a car will just appear in my driveway with insurance. But as we all know, that’s impossible and it will take more time, and patience.

The next milestone I have to conquer is saving up to move out once again. Its going to be excellent to be on my own again. Its been bittersweet living at home. I needed to come here, obviously, but in a way it was needed for more then just my physical rehabilitation. I was extremely distant from my parents, and they are not going to be around forever, I need to soak these precious moments in we spend together. I need to learn, love, and grow with them before I regret not spending time with them. It takes time, age, and maturity to see this. I do wish it didn’t take my almost fatal car wreck to make me realize this, but then again it changed my life in positive ways.

I wanna shout louder then my lungs will allow me. Run faster then my legs withstand. Feel more then my skin can recognize. Everyday the sun rises, and sets. I was starting to believe that time wasn’t passing by, but its clear times going too fast. I’m going to say it, and call me cliche but its the truth, life is too short. I feel remorse for those who haven’t had an eye opening experience like I have to completely change their outlook, and see with different eyes as I do.

How could I have possibly got away with the insanity I did this weekend? Thursday night with Keith was very mind boggling, but Friday was great INCREDIBLE. Being the host did get overwhelming at times, but after most everyone I was expecting was there I was able to kick back. I believe we successfully drank our faces completely off.

Goals for myself include the following:

- Stop worrying/thinking about dating. PERIOD.
- Join the god damn gym already, shit.
- Get a second job. (PLEASE)
- Have a killer party while parents are out of town :) cheeeeeck.
- Meditate more.
- Save on the side more for half sleeve.
- Get an incredible bow tie :) cheeeeck.
- See old friends more often.

Jessy, D and I went to a show at the fox last evening. Hints the addition of my tie collection :). It was a 20’s and 30’s themed cover band. Shortly after we went to the Glenwood for spirits, num nums, and free “birthday” fried oreos from our eye brow ring sporting semi attractive waitress. Overall, incredible weekend. It ceases to amaze me at the incredible things I find myself apart of these sunsets.

I never run away from my thoughts. I run at full speed towards them, engross myself in them. Sometimes, my perplexed mind causes too much damage on my me. The first anniversary is coming up in 3 weeks, since the door was opened. I have different eyes now. In front of me lay the same things but they look different now. I feel as though I opened up a door in my mind, and this door cannot be closed. My eyes see a shade lighter then before.

I’m just going up up up now. Its inspiring to me, stimulating and thrilling. The future ahead can only get greater. My mind has a severe case of add. I can’t help but think about you sometimes. I was upstairs in a fierce search for my old I-pod charger because father found a 2G in his listing (SCORE), and I came across more pictures, more letters, more you. I’m convinced I’ll never be able to cleanse myself of you sometimes. Then I realize how great my life is right now, without you.

Wow, the next four days of my life are going to blow my mind. Breeders are traveling in the good ol’ black Yukon (mafiacari’mconvinced), to see my male sibling. He and his ego reside in Kentucky. Fucking Kentucky, wow. Good job, bro. Moving on, they are leaving in the morning and once again are leaving me the incredible house and beast. Time to get arrested! Bad joke. Time to have an incredible time. I have been famished for a weekend like this. Time to being the extravaganza!